that is the question...
Should I continue even though I'm no longer half way around the world from everyone?
Am interested to hear your thoughts...let me know...
While you are thinking, here's a photo from this past weekend:
I wish I would have written my future self a letter or had been blogging when I first arrived in Singapore three and a half years ago. It would be interesting to see what I thought about Singers back then and what I thought I might get out of this international assignment.
My original thought was to write a blog that summarized my time in Singapore which included some of my favorite memories and pictures, etc. Instead, I am in the midst of all sorts of emotions about leaving. I'm super excited to be coming home and looking forward to returning to US living and being around Alan and the kitties and all of my great friends and family. But...I am also incredibly sad...I knew I would be sad about leaving my friends but am also a bit nostalgic about leaving my everyday haunts here.
Saying goodbye sucks...there is just nothing good about it. I'm confident that I will see some of my friends here again but know that it was the final goodbye for some of the others. I'm relatively sure that I will be back in Singapore for a visit but...this may be last time here. Ugh...like I said, saying goodbye sucks.
So...instead of writing a blog that summarizes my time based on my experiences I will just say thank you to Singapore. Thank you to Alan for living halfway around the world from me. Thank you to my company for affording me this opportunity. Thank you to all of my friends and family who have kept in touch with me long distance. Thank you to all of my Singers friends for welcoming me so readily. Thank you to myself for having the courage to come here in the first place and to experience everything that I have the past few years.
I think that if I would have written myself a letter back when all of this started I would have told myself to enjoy it and to make the most of it. I can honestly say that I have no regrets about the experience. I have been so many places and seen so many things that I never thought I would get to see or do. I have met some amazing people who, regardless of if I see them again, will forever me part of my time here and are part of memories.
So...goodbye...for now...to Singers...you've been great to me!
I blogged a few days ago about deconstructing my home here in Singapore. On Friday, I officially handed the keys and the apartment back to the landlord. Before I get to that...let me back up and explain the process here since it is a bit different...
The majority of apartments are individually and privately owned. There aren't many apartment complexes like we have in the US where you just go into the leasing office and deal with them. Instead, you have to have a leasing agent and you also have to deal with the landlord's leasing agent. I honestly have not ever seen the value in any of it and think it is just a way to create jobs and for the agents to make money. I lucked out in that I had a really great agent and that my landlord's agent was pretty good too.
When you sign your lease here, if you are an expat, there is actually an 'expat clause' that is included that says that after X amount of time you can break the lease without penalty provided you give X months notice. So, I actually started the communication about handing over my apartment back in December...which may be why it seems like it has taken forever!
I was given instruction by my relocation company what I needed to do prior to my handover...
~remove all items...seems obvious but they were explicit in this instruction
~clean the apartment...this makes perfect sense
~ensure all lightbulbs were working...apparently they will deduct from your deposit if there are lightbulbs that are burnt out. Seriously? I asked around and people have been charged up to $150 for replacing them...what the hell? This seems so silly since it takes about two seconds and only a few dollars to replace them. I actually had to have someone come in to help me with this because I had an unfortunate incident whereby I pulled the entire light fixture from the ceiling in a frustrated moment but that is another story all together...
~clean the kitchen, oven, stovetop, and fridge...again, makes perfect sense but they pointed all of these items out separately. This was a very easy step for me since I used my kitchen so little...in fact, my oven has never been used.
~have the curtains dry-cleaned...this one annoyed me a little bit...the curtains to me are a fixture that are owned by the landlord so I feel like they should be the ones to clean them...but, I didn't want to argue with them so had them cleaned. Thankfully, the dry cleaners here do this all of the time so the charge for the cleaning included the cost for them to come and take them down and also put them back up.
~turn off all utilities...again, not a huge deal but since I am leaving the country and officially closing all accounts I had to go to each place in person to sign off on the paperwork.
The list doesn't look that long and like it is that big of a deal to manage but having to coordinate multiple people to come in and out of the apartment and then take back the cable box and go to the power company and allow the landlord's agent to come in and show the apartment for prospective renters...ugh! I was over all of the coordinating and planning and being there a few weeks ago!
So, I had heard horror stories about what a landlord tries to charge you for (hello...$150 to replace a lightbulb) and that very few people are able to get their entire deposit refunded. Some of the landlords even try to get the tenants to pay to have the apartments repainted...really??? Overall I left the apartment in good condition, in my opinion, but I was prepared for a big fight about how any damages the landlord's agent identified were just part of the normal wear and tear of being in the apartment for three years.
As I mentioned above, the official handover was on Friday morning. I went in seriously ready to defend my position and had a few arguments in my back pocket...things I had covered the expenses for that the landlord was supposed to instead of me. Anyway, we all showed up...did a quick walk-through...and in about 15-20 minutes time had all of the paperwork signed and I was walking out the door. No arguments...no defense needed...phew! I am so very happy that it went as well as it did.
Soon somebody else will be living in what was my home for the past three years...it seems a little odd to me still that I can't go back there but as I mentioned in my post from a few days ago it ceased being my 'home' when all of my things were getting packed up and shipped back home.
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| Last view of my front door.. |
A few days ago I posted about some of the things in Singapore that I'm really going to miss. Not to be a negative Nelly...but there are certainly some things about Singapore that I will definitely NOT miss so thought I'd share those with you. I would normally feel like I'm complaining but I had a going away brunch this past weekend and most of these came up from the group of expats that I was with so feel a bit better that it isn't just me...
~Poor customer service...I've been pretty lucky in most of my dealings in stores and service providers (cable, power, etc) regarding the quality of customer service. However, Singapore is not known for the stellar customer service...especially in restaurants... You typically get dishes served at different times (like 10 minutes apart)...forgotten items that have been ordered...just general unfriendliness. I really think that part of the dining experience is the service that you receive so am looking forward to some great waiters/waitresses when I get home...and am sure they'll be tipped accordingly!
~Slow walkers...holy cow! People here in Asia walk...so...slow... It is to the point that I honestly wonder how some of them ever get anywhere...at...all!
~Lack of charity...I know that there must be charitable organizations here but they are not very visible. It seems like a lot of the social issues get swept under the rug and appear to be hidden. It almost seems like Singapore doesn't want to air it's dirty laundry. And there have been a few instances where the locals just simply don't help out...my personal trainer got in a motorcycle accident last year and was laying on the road with a huge gash in his leg and no Singaporeans stopped to help...only tourists...and he is Singaporean! Just this week I was putting all of my spare Singaporean change into a donation box for the local SPCA...I had a lot of change so it took a few minutes and the entire time there were locals staring at me like I was loopy.
~Horrible public restrooms...9 times out of 10 they are not well maintained here...they are not air-conditioned (which is horrible when the temps rarely drop below 80 degrees)...and they are not well located (lots of restaurants don't have their own restrooms so you have to take a bit of a walk to find one).
~Not giving way...I have no idea why but more often than not when you are walking down the sidewalk you'll see a group of 3-4 people coming toward you. One would think that since there are 4 of them and one of you they would give way to allow you to pass...not so much here...I typically will just step out of the way but I have had many days where I have stood my ground and just bumped into people...only to get a look of utter shock. Come on people!
~Always being around people...this isn't a constant thing but living in a big city means always being around people. Even simple things like returning to your apartment means being greeted by your doorman...don't get me wrong...they have always been super nice but sometimes it is good to just have some peace and quiet.
~Insanely high prices...remember the dish-rack incident of 2009? If not...check out that blog post...I'll be glad to be back in the land of reasonable and competitive pricing...bring on Target!!!
~Lack of amazing restaurants....I think I'm a bit spoiled living in the big D and having so many awesome choices for food. There are a lot of okay places to eat here but very few that completely blow me away and make me say...let's go back!
So...these are a few of the things that I will not miss when I leave here. Again, I hate to be negative but I do think that part of the experience is the entirely well-rounded one that includes both the positives and negatives. But...to end on a positive note...a few more things that I will absolutely miss...
~insanely cheap massages...especially the awesome acupressure (aka - foot massage) that I typically reward myself with each week
~super cheap but super tasty sushi from the grocery store
~Sunday morning walks at East Coast Park or along the river
~funny conversations and misunderstandings with taxi drivers...
I first came to Singapore in August 2008 for a short visit. A lot has changed in Singapore as well as with me since that first visit so thought I'd reflect on a few of the changes...
~I have somehow become accustomed to the heat and humidity here. Don't get me wrong...I still get super hot and sweaty when I'm out and about but not as quickly and not nearly as often.
~This city is always changing due to the massive amount of construction going on. The enormous Marina Bay Sands was completed while I was here along with two major shopping centers just down from my house. And just last week they tore down an old black and white row house across the street from my friend's house. We'll see if whatever is going in there is done by the time I make my first return visit.
~I now know what 'real' Chinese food tastes like...and it is nothing like the Americanized version.
~I no longer think that a 5-6 hour flight is painfully long.
~I don't feel weird or out of place when I'm the only Westerner in a group of people.
~I can eat rice with chopsticks without making a huge mess.
~I am so much more familiar with non-Christian religions.
~When crossing the road I am used to looking right for oncoming traffic instead of left.
~I now carry a camera just about everywhere I go because you never know what you are going to run across.
~I now know what a black spitting cobra looks like...and that they are poisonous.
~I can tell most Asian currencies just by looking at them.
~I am far more willing to try food that I no nothing about...is actually kind of fun...even if it tastes horrible.
Okay, so most of those things are about how I have changed and not Singapore. I think it will be fun to come back for a visit in a year or so and see just how much has changed since I've been here.
So...I've been deconstructing my home here in Singapore for awhile now. I started sorting through things in preparation for the move back in December. I got into it full on about a month ago. I left pictures on the walls until just last weekend because I always feel like a house isn't a home until there are pictures on the walls.
My last night sleeping in my apartment was on Thursday night. I must admit...I was oddly emotional about waking up on Friday morning knowing it was my last time sleeping there. And...I've been oddly emotional throughout the whole packing and cleaning and moving process.
For those of you who know me well...you'll know that I'm not really one to show much emotion so for this to happen over an apartment is incredibly odd.
I guess it makes sense to feel some sort of emotion related to it...packing things up was sort of the beginning of the end here in Singapore. I can't ignore the fact that this part of my life is coming to a close when all of my things are in boxes being sent away. Don't get me wrong...I'm thrilled to be coming home but I am also incredibly sad to be leaving what has been my day-to-day life for the past three years.
So...#05-07 at One Oxley Rise is now sitting empty with the exception of some cleaning supplies. I stood in it after all of my things were packed and moved and thought of some great memories...
~my first house guest...my friend Sonya and I sitting on a mattress on the floor of my living room having a beer (this was before my sea shipment arrived)
~getting settled in and unpacking all of my things to make it my Singapore home
~hanging out with AliG
~having Alan and all of my other visitors come stay with me
~laughing with friends over dinner...
The apartment served me quite well the past three years. It was a great location and at the time I chose it didn't realize that it was only a block away from where two of my best friends now live. Even though I don't officially hand it over until Friday I don't feel like it is mine any longer. Is just an empty apartment now and no longer a home...especially since the last piece of my being there came down just before I walked out yesterday...
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| These are pictures from my nephews that hung on my wall. They were some of the first things I'd see before I went to bed every night and when I woke up every morning. A great reminder of home. |
I spent the day sitting in my apartment today watching a crew pack up all of my belongings in preparation of the shipment back to the US.
I actually am only taking about half of what I brought over here home with me. Furniture here in Singapore is insanely expensive so some of my close friends have benefited from the fact that all of the stuff I had here was duplicate and not needed at home. It would have likely been donated to charity at home so am thrilled that my friends will get to use. Although...I must admit it was a bit odd when I went over to their place for dinner last night and saw lots of my former things in use...
The moving crew arrived at my place this morning about 9:30 am and began packing almost immediately. They didn't finish packing until around 2:00 pm...I clearly have way too much crap! Although, they were quite careful and wrapped every single piece of furniture very nicely to protect it from getting bumped or dinged during the shipment. And...to be fair...the move over here was a lot easier and faster because most of what came was brand new and in the original packaging so there was no need to re-pack it for the shipment.
What, you ask, are some of the things that I will miss the most about Singapore? Here are a few of them...
Friends
I already mentioned this a recent post but will definitely miss my friends the most.
The first of the two sets of movers are coming tomorrow morning and I've spent the past two weekends getting things organized and sorted. I've had to sort things into four categories...
~stuff to take with me on the plane
~stuff to go via sea shipment
~stuff to go via air shipment (separate from me)
~stuff I'm giving to friends here.
There was also a fifth category of going directly into the trash...holy cow...how on earth can one person accumulate so much stuff that is not needed?
It hasn't been a difficult process but has been interesting trying to remember not to pack things that I need the last few weeks that I am here. And I must say that it is nice that I am moving back to a completely opposite season. It has made the packing of my shoes and clothing much easier since most of what I have here isn't needed right away.
One of the things that my company provides to me is temporary housing so that I don't have to stay in a hotel between the time I leave my apartment and the time I fly back to the US. I checked in yesterday and my first night there will be tonight. It is the same place that I stayed when I first moved here so have come full circle...
This past Tuesday was the Hindu festival of Thaipusam. I tried to look up what the day is meant to celebrate but there seem to be multiple things so will just leave it at being a very spiritual day.
In Singapore, they actually shut down some of the roads so that the devotees can make the 2.5 mile walk from Little India to the temple just down the road from my apartment. Now, 2.5 miles doesn't seem like such a long way...but imagine if you had to walk that far wearing this...
I follow some blogs of other expats living in Singapore. There are a few who have just arrived in the past six months and another few that are leaving around the time that I will be leaving. Almost all of them have a post about the struggles with making friends as an expat. It isn't so much that it is hard to find people to become friends with but how much time and energy should one invest into the friendship knowing that one or both of you at some point will be moving away and possibly moving on.
So these posts from other bloggers really got me thinking about how
their experience as an expat is going to be if they are being guarded
about who they allow into their life? And, did I do the same thing?
In looking back at my time in Singapore I can honestly say that this never even came up as an issue for me. I made some amazing friends while living here. We have shared a lot of great memories and I would like to think that I'll maintain contact with them even once I move back to the US. However, there is a very real possibility that we will lose touch. That may sound harsh but that is just life. I have friends that live in the same city as me that I've lost touch with and couldn't give you any specific reason as to why.
I will say that one of the lessons that living half-way around the world from your core group of 'peeps' teaches you is that you must work at relationships. Obviously this is not only true for those of us living in different time zones but I think it is something we tend to take for granted in day-to-day life. It is far easier to just assume that someone will always be there for you than to put effort into the relationship. Prior to coming here I rarely 'scheduled' time to speak with my friends...sure...we would make plans to catch-up but even then I was a bit relaxed about even doing that. A 12-13 hour time difference coupled with the cost of international dialing rates teaches you to actually 'set dates' with your friends and family. As a result, I don't feel like I've missed out on too many things and haven't been too estranged from anyone back home while living here.
I'm thankful that I never had any reservations about making friends while living here. Without some of them my experiences here would not have been nearly as wonderful. I would be lying if I said that I wish I didn't have more time with some of them...but not once have I had the thought that I shouldn't invest my time or energy because one of us will be leaving. So, instead of 'scheduling dates' with my US friends I'll soon be shifting my energy to arranging dates to call or video chat or visit in person with my friends from Asia.
If you are an expat and happen to be reading this or have the opportunity to become an expat I'll give you some unsolicited advice on this topic...go all in when it comes to friends. Who cares if you have 30 years or 3 years or 3 months with somebody? I'd like to think that people enter and exit our lives at the times that we need them to be there and we don't always get to make the decision about the timing.
I've been asked a lot lately about what I will miss the most when I return to the US and it is the exact same thing that I have said that I miss the most about being away from the US...the people.
Week 33 of 52
Hong Kong
So, the countdown continues and I am somehow at the 4 week mark...yikes! I'm super excited to be coming home but am also sad about leaving Singapore. And...in the middle of all of that I have a lot of organizing to do. Movers to schedule...things to organize for packing...repairman to be scheduled...lots of dinners and drinks with friends...transitioning job responsibilities...canceling of utilities...and on and on... Please don't get me wrong, am not complaining at all...it is just going to be an interesting...and busy...ride for the next few weeks!
Read more...One of the stops I always take people to in Singapore is the Buddhist temple right in the heart of Chinatown. I didn't plan to take any pictures since I've been to it a number of times before. However, there were some great decorations for Lunar New Year. This one was my favorite...
Week 32 of 52
River Hongbao
Singapore
One of the things that I always end up coming home with from a trip is leftover currency from the country I have just visited. When there is a chance you may head back to the country you tend to keep a small amount of the cash on-hand and then before you know it...you end up like this...
Week 31 of 52
Mornington Peninsula
near Melbourne, Australia
I have been MIA from the blog lately because I just got back from 5 days in Melbourne, Australia. I'll blog about all the fun we had but as a preview...we saw some great tennis at the Australian Open...had amazing breakfasts...and went wine tasting.
Here's a preview of how amazing our seats were...
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| That is Serena Williams in case you aren't familiar with the tennis pros. |
Growing up in Owosso my concept of a home was a typical single-family house with a garage and a yard. There weren't very many apartment complexes and certainly no high rise buildings. I'm sure that people who are from more urban areas would have a different frame of reference.
In Singapore, there are not a lot of single-family homes. Those that do exist are insanely expensive to rent or purchase (think millions of dollars). Obviously, when you have 5 million plus people living on an island you very quickly run out of room so the easiest thing to do is build up instead of out.
